You and I
by travellinginfraction
Summary: Four years after breaking up with the love of her life, Dani finds herself at the peak of her musical career. But sometimes, fate has a funny way of working itself out. What happens when she finally gets the chance to correct the biggest mistake she has ever made? Can she break past the walls Santana built up over the last four years? DANTANA!
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

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**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GLEE**

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**THIRD PERSON'S POV:**

She lazily taps the piano keys with her right hand, left hand propped under her chin.

She sighs.

This isn't working.

Nothing ever works _since _that fateful day, if she's being honest. For four years now, she just went through the motions of her new life.

To some people, having numerous awards and recognition in your chosen field suggests that you are not well-acquainted with failure or heartbreaks. Indeed, the world is keen on giving you a set of criteria of what constitutes failure if you allow it. To most people, success and happiness lie in knowing that life is a checklist of acquisitions or achievements. If those things are anything to go by, Dani thinks that by any conventional measure, a mere four years after being 'discovered', she had succeeded on an epic scale.

The media celebrates her musical success. To some extent, she's proud of what she has accomplished at the age of 28. She simply has to look around her luxurious Manhattan home and see the numerous awards for them to say that she has indeed made it.

Yet only a handful knows what happens behind closed doors. Really, she's kind of a walking cliché. To the outside world, she's this confident, talented and out musician. But as soon as she removes her makeup and clothes after concerts or television appearances and retires to her mansion, she'd cry and feel like the biggest failure in the world. At the end of the day, she let _her_ go.

She let go of the one person she has ever _truly _loved and that makes her the biggest failure she knows.

"Dani?" That familiar voice snaps her out of her trance as she turns around to meet her friend and confidant.

"Yes, Elliot?" Dani asks.

"It's about to start. The category, I mean." Elliot mutters somberly.

"Oh." Dani sits up straight, gulping before nodding in acknowledgement. Without another word, Dani stands and slowly makes her way towards her entertainment room.

/

Dani enters the entertainment room just in time to watch Ricky Gervais, this year's host, deliver his all-too familiar offensive jabs and jokes. She waits with anticipation as the camera zooms in on the nominees.

After what felt like an eternity, it stops on a particular table.

Dani's breath catches in her throat as Kathryn Bigelow is shown whispering something to her lead actress' ear.

_Oh God._

She watches as Santana Lopez nods in what could only be interpreted as agreement to her director's words.

"She looks so pretty." Elliot pipes in as he hands a glass of champagne to his obviously enamored friend and former bandmate. After she accepts the flute, Dani offers a sad toast before downing its contents.

"Always." She whispers before grabbing the bottle and refilling her glass. "She looks happy, don't you think?"

"Well…" Elliot trails on, trying to collect his thoughts. "Who wouldn't be happy? Her film raked in over 300 million bucks. Eleven Golden Globes nominations. Not to mention more awards that are sure to come, if the buzz is anything to go by." He smirks.

"She deserves it. If there's anyone in this world who should have everything she's having right now, it's her. She worked so damn hard, Elliot."

Elliot smiles in agreement.

It hasn't been easy for Santana. After three years of trying to be _someone _(and a number of embarrassing commercials and soap opera cameos)_, _Santana got picked up by an agent and had since been cast in different television and movie roles – mostly minor. Her friends would know that Santana's a talented singer and performer, but producers didn't seem to be interested in that aspect of _Santana Lopez. _They didn't want to just _hear _her. No, they wanted to see her.

Preferably on screen.

Her break came threeyears ago when she was cast to play alongside comedic bigwigs in _Confessions,_ a comedy television show produced and written by Tina Fey. Santana's comedic timing and A+ performance in the show endeared her to the viewing public. It wasn't everyday that you see a gorgeous woman making you roll on the floor in laughter.

But Santana shot to an even bigger fame a year ago when news about her being Kathryn Bigelow's choice for lead actress in her upcoming movie about a gay woman in the military broke out. Many people criticized the decision. They said Santana was a_nobody_. That she didn't have any depth and variety to portray the coveted role.

Until the reviews came and critics have nothing but praises and awe for her performance.

It was a box-office and critical hit.

Hollywood found herself a new 'It' girl.

The two are broken out of their own thoughts when they heard the host introduce George Clooney as the presenter of the the nominees and award for Best Actress Motion Picture - Drama.

**_"And here are the nominees for Best Actress in a motion picture - Drama."_**

**_"Kate Winslet, for Guardian"_**

**_"Rooney Mara, for Side Effects"_**

**_"Santana Lopez, for Under Fire"_**

**_"And Helen Mirren, for Dance with the Devil"_**

Dani focuses at one particular frame with keen eyes and baited breath as Elliot waits nervously for George Clooney's announcement.

**_"And the award for Best Actress in a Motion picture – Drama goes to…Santana Lopez, Under Fire."_**

Elliot watches his friend break out into a proud smile, her eyes are glossy but shining with love and adoration.

"Dani – ."

"Shhh." Dani cuts him off, eyes never leaving the screen in front of them. "She's about to deliver her speech."

**_"Oh my God..." Santana criesas loud cheers permeate across the room. "Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press for this, distinction... I am honored, to be chosen as the recipient of this award. Thank you to Mark Boal, for writing a capable, strong and independent woman who stands on her own. To Kathryn Bigelow, my wonderful and brilliant director who fought against everyone who said that I was too weak to play the role. You're a powerful, fearless woman, and I look up to you. You told me that film making for you, is not about breaking gender roles, but when you make a film that allows your character to disobey the conventions of film and society, you've done more for women in cinema than you would take credit for. I thank my parents, my family and friends and colleagues who have supported me all these years. I thank and dedicate this award to all the fans - to everyone who has been counted out, but refused to be knocked out; to people of color, who as children, were lifted by their moms and dads on their shoulders and to whose ears were whispered, 'You can be anything you want to be'; to the military, young and old, to the veterans; to everyone who has stumbled, but stood right back up and works hard and never gives up; THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! And most of all, I share this award to our gay brothers and sisters who everyday continue to fight for equality and respect even if it means enduring ridicule and harassment. Every. Single. Day. And I have ten seconds remaining! I also want to dedicate this award to someone who dreamt of this night for me, many, many years ago. I share this award with you, D. Thank you and good night!"_**

/

* * *

Dani traces her fingers around the edges of _that _photograph as a box lies beside her on the smiles as she remembers the day Rachel took this picture of her and Santana sleeping on the couch – cuddled against each other.

/

**_{Flashback: Years Ago}_**

_Dani and Santana moved in together a year after they officially dated. Their apartment was smaller than the loft Santana shared with Kurt and Rachel but neither one of them complained. They were together, they were happy and that's all that mattered._

_They continued working at the diner, with Santana booking some commercials on the side and the two of them performing with the 'Wonder Twins' (as Santana succinctly called Kurt and Rachel) and Elliot in a band. The five of them landed gigs to perform across New York clubs, two nights in a week._

_Dani and Santana worked well together in their tiny apartment. Dani cooked dinner most nights, with Santana cooking whenever Dani couldn't. The taller woman is not the best cook, but the way she served the meals to Dani – with pride in her eyes whenever she managed to cook something for her– makes whatever Santana cooked be Dani's favorite no matter how it tasted._

_Dani saw how Santana yearned to be famous and there was no doubt in her mind that she will be. _

_One day._

_Santana's not only gorgeous but she's super talented too. She can sing and dance (and judging by the commercials she booked, she can damn well act also!) and she had that 'presence'. 'That' factor._

_That was why Dani was not surprised when Santana came home one night with a different glimmer in her eyes. It was a few weeks after their second anniversary and things were running smoothly in their relationship._

_"San?" Dani asked when she couldn't take the silence anymore. It had been an hour since Santana came home and she had said five words to Dani. Something was up._

_"Yeah?"_

_"What's wrong?"_

_"Well…I don't know how you'll react…"_

_"What is it? You know you can tell me anything, right?"_

_"An agent approached me and he offered me a job. Said he saw the commercial and had been trying to contact me for a while. It's called Harriett, and it's a comedy show. It's nothing too big. But I'll be a regular." Santana mumbled._

_"Honey, that's great! I don't see why you were unsure how I'll react. Of course I'm stoked!"_

_"That's the thing, hon. I would have to be in LA for at least three days each week."_

_"So?"_

_"I don't know, Dani."_

_"You're starting to build your portfolio, Santana. Why not?"_

_"I wanted to talk to you about it first. And yeah, I guess, I'll miss you…" Santana admitted._

_"It'll be fine, babe. I'm just here. And I can visit you in LA? I would have to save for plane tickets, but yeah, it'll be fine."_

_"We're going to be okay?"_

_"More than okay."_

_/_

_Santana didn't come home for two weeks straight because the shoot took forever. She only had a day off before coming back to set and Dani suggested that she skipped coming home to New York in favor of one good day of rest. They resorted to Skype sessions, texting and calls and for a while, they were enough._

_The first season of Harriett was a success – so much so that the network renewed the show for two more seasons. Santana adjusted well, and she managed to go back home to New York every other weekend. It was hard, but they got through it._

_Dani, on the other hand, struggled with her music career. On their third anniversary, she got signed by a record label, only to be droppeda couple of months later due to artistic differences. She continued playing with Elliot and three new band members (they lost Rachel to Broadway, Kurt to Vogue and of course, Santana to Hollywood) but the gigs were few. But being used to these struggles, Dani never wavered. She knew her time will come too. She's too happy for Santana to even care too much._

_It was a day after Santana's 22nd birthday, and Dani's 23rd (their birthdays are a day apart) when Santana delivered another news._

_"I'm doing a movie with Jennifer Lawrence and Rebel Wilson!" Santana beamed as she props herself up on her elbow, her naked body on display for Dani to see. Santana flew in to surprise Dani on her birthday, but as soon as Dani saw her girlfriend smiling at her from the other side of the door, they were 'at it' faster than Santana could say 'Happy Birthday!'._

_"Oh my God babe! That's awesome! You're a movie star now!"_

_"Hey! Not so fast!" Santana giggled, removing Dani's wandering hands from her torso. "It's nothing big – ."_

_"Blah-blah-blah!Nothing big my ass. You said that before during Harriett and look how it turned out. I'm positive that this is going to be another hit, babe."_

_"I hope so, babe."_

_Dani failed to realize right away that the movie meant three whole months without seeing Santana since the movie was set in London._

_/_

_It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment it all went wrong._

_Maybe it was the time Santana stopped calling. Dani knew she shouldn't think too much about it. Santana was just busy with work. Things were going great for her and she couldn't fuck it all up. Dani knew this, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt when she realized that it had been a week since she last talked to Santana._

_Still, maybe, it was that time she went to Los Angeles to attend a party as Santana's plus one. Was it that moment she felt so out of place and irrelevant and unaccomplished? Maybe._

_Probably the most vivid was the feeling at the pit of her stomach when Santana was nowhere to be found after her band performed as the opening act for Bruno Mars' concert in New York. Dani sent Santana a backstage pass, expecting her girlfriend to be there, hugging and fangirling over her as Santana always did after her performances. She remembered staying backstage hours after their act, thinking that Santana had just been held up found out the following day that Santana_just _forgot about it because she was so tired from a nineteen-hour taping in Los Angeles._

_/_

_It was three months before their fourth anniversary when Dani realized that she couldn't do it anymore._

_"You won't believe who just called me!" Santana giggled at the other end of the line._

_"Who?" Dani asked, not really feeling that normal enthusiasm she had whenever she talked to a giggling Santana._

_"Tina freaking Fey! She wants me, as one of the leads in her new show!"_

_"That's great, babe." Dani responds automatically._

_"And guess what?!"_

_"What?"_

_"Ryan talked to one of the producers in Universal. They want you!"_

_"Uh. About that, hon. They already contacted me and – "_

_"Oh my God! That's dope, Dani! So, you'll finally move here, right?" Dani felt her stomach drop at Santana's hopeful voice. Since getting in Hollywood, Santana, with all the subtlety she could muster, tried to ask her to move to Los Angeles and search her luck there. But Dani always declined. She never really had that 'desire' to be in LA. Visit, yeah, probably. But live? Nah. She has no connection with the place. New York will always be her home._

_"We couldn't agree on the genre, baby. I want Pop/Rock. They want me to do country or RnB. I'm cool here, though. Our band's doing well."_

_"Oh." Dani can feel Santana's excitement deflate. "Are we okay, Dani?" Santana breathed out, and all Dani could do was sigh._

_"I haven't seen you in four months, San."_

_"I'm trying, Dani. But I'm swamped –."_

_"I know, I know. Our conversations are timed. Somehow." She sighed. "It's not your fault." There was an uncomfortable pause, their breathing were the only sounds one could hear. "I love you, Santana. You have no idea how much."_

_"I love you too, Danielle."_

_They said their goodbyes and hang-up._

_Dani was left staring blankly at the phone in her hand for a few moments before soft sobs rock her body._

_Something definitely shifted that night._

_/_

_Santana found herself seated on the familiar, but at the same time foreign, couch three days later. No one rushed to greet the other with hugs and kisses._

_As soon as she saw Dani, Santana knew that something has changed. At first, she thought there was someone else. But after looking into the smaller woman's eyes, she knew it was something far worse._

_Santana looked down as she fiddled with the hem of her herself to the inevitable, she she try some more? She felt too guilty for leaving Dani behind. Granted, her girlfriend didn't want to accept any help from her, but still. Surely, she could have tried harder?_

_Could have, should have. But by then, Santana was too tired to even fight._

_"San…" Santana turned to look at Dani as the latter called her name. Instantly, Santana looked as if she knew what would come next even before Dani spoke. She'd seen something terrifying in Danielle's chocolate orbs. Santana's eyes start to water as they focus on Dani's. _

_"Just say it, Dani." Santana started to put her walls up._

_"I can't do this anymore."_

_"Because I'm always away?"_

_With a nod, Dani continued, "it's not your fault, San– ."_

_"How long? How long have you felt this way? Because we've been together for almost four years now, Dani." Santana clenched her jaw. "Four years in a couple of months. You want us to throw that away?"_

_"San –."_

_"You should have told me, Danielle. I deserved that, don't you think?"_

_"I'm so sorry." Dani cried, the look of total devastation painted on her face._

_"Say it. I want to hear you say it." Santana urged, needing to hear those words so she could, in some way, have closure._

_"It's not working anymore, Santana. We're not working anymore. I think we should end this."_

_"So we're over?" Santana's voice broke and that was all it took for Dani's resolve to break. She pulled Santana into a hug, their bodies molding together as if knowing that that was it. One last hold?_

_"Y-Yes…"Dani's head moved against Santana's shoulder, and the latter did not argue anymore. One can tell by the way both their bodies were slumped against each other that there was love, but the fight was gone._

_With a weak nod, Santana pressed a kiss on Dani's head, both their hearts breaking. Dani's arms tightened around Santana's waist, but with all the courage she could muster, Santana forcefully removed them before whispering a strained, "I love you."_

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**So there's the first part :P Hope it was okay :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee.**

**Note: Just a gentle reminder, this story is not recommended for Brittana shippers. You may want to skip this whole story.**

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**/**

**-Present Time-**

It's the gloomiest birthday Santana could remember having in Lima. The thought that she could finally spend some quiet time with her parents and closest friends without any buzz and interruption _should _have brought her comfort. She yearns for that. That privacy and sense of normalcy that evaded her since nabbing all those coveted roles. It's funny, really. She had always wanted to be famous, no matter what, no matter how; but the moment she finally got her longtime 'dream', she longs to be invisible, even just for a while.

Santana feels the familiar tug in her hand and she internally frowns. The touch doesn't give her the comfort it used to give her – when any other time, at least in the distant past, it would have easily brought a smile to her lips. It's her birthday. She's home. She's with _her. _She should be happy.

But nothing seems to matter anymore.

It pains her to say it, but nothing _really_ makes her happy anymore. Not the money; not the fame; and certainly not any of those awards.

"Are you okay, San?" Brittany pouts and Santana finds herself slightly annoyed at the childishness being displayed in front of her. Gone is the itch to be near her – to hold Brittany and just feel her.

But Santana offers a smile, thankful for the dark glasses she's wearing as they lounge on the chairs beside the Lopez family pool. "Of course, B."

"Good. How do you like your birthday weekend so far?" Brittany asks, and Santana finds herself grateful for the blonde's obliviousness.

"It's amazing. It's great to spend time with my folks. I've missed them." Santana offers a timid smile.

"I'm just glad that the tour has been moved next month! Now, I get to spend time with you." Brittany beams as she gets up from her chair to plant a lingering kiss on Santana's lips. The smaller woman kisses back, trying to drown the emptiness deep inside her. After what felt like an eternity, Brittany breaks the kiss before announcing that she has to check on her phone as she's expecting a call from her agent-manager. Santana heaves a sigh of relief as she feels Brittany skips giddily back to the house to retrieve her mobile.

Once she's sure that the woman has her back turned against her, Santana watches as Brittany walks away gracefully. After a year at MIT, the blue-eyed blonde decided that it wasn't the path that she wanted to pursue. Instead, she took an offer to dance for Beyoncé from a scout. Tired and utterly bored with all the academic prerequisites, Brittany joined MIT's dance troupe. During a showcase participated in by different dance troupes from colleges and universities in Massachusetts, Ian – an agent – came forward with a job offer and without a second thought, Brittany accepted. For four straight years, she toured with a number of pop artists around the world. On the fifth year since she dropped out of college, Brittany got her big break as she landed the role of a dancer in a television musical show. She's not as popular or as big as Santana, but with the TV show being a hit, Brittany's able to put her name out there.

But despite somewhat being in the same business, the two didn't really bump into each other. Santana earned a reputation as a showbiz hermit, barely partying or going out after work. It wasn't until Artie and Kitty's wedding a year and a half ago that that they saw each other again

Most of their friends, with the exception of Kurt and Rachel, pushed for the two to reconcile.

The road to getting back together wasn't entirely easy. Santana resisted, insisting that she wasn't ready for anything serious. It wasn't until six months ago – during their annual _Glee Club Christmas Reunion_ that they decided to give it another go after Brittany confessed that she was still hoping that in the end, it'll be the two of them together.

**_FLASHBACK_**

_"Mija, what's going on with you and Brittany?" Maribel finally asked after noticing that the charming blonde had been a fixture in their Lima home for the past days. Santana once again came home after her movie wrapped up, longing to spend time with her parents._

_"Nothing Mami. We're just hanging out. Her show's on hiatus, and she's on vacation too…so…" Santana trailed on._

_"You know, Mija, Brittany's a very sweet girl." Maribel pointed out._

_"Hmmm…" Maribel sighed before taking the spot beside her daughter._

_"It's been years, darling. You kept on saying that you're fine, that you're happy; but I know you're really not. Those bevy 'girlfriends' you paraded around? Mija, it was painfully obvious that you were never into any of them."_

_"Mami…" Santana warned, not liking where the conversation was going._

_"All I'm saying is that, Brittany's someone I really adore. I've known the girl since you were both five years old. I've seen her grow up. I know her family really well. She's a very nice, kind-hearted and decent woman, Santana. Way better than any of the 'girls' you've 'dated', if you could call it that. Brittany's real, Mija. You have known her forever. She's safe. She's good for you."_

_"You don't know that, Mom."_

_"Maybe I don't. But of this, I'm sure, Santana…" Maribel pointed at her daughter for emphasis. "Hollywood is not the place to find true love. Maintaining a relationship in that world is difficult and stressful. Give Brittany a chance. The poor girl has been trying."_

_Santana let out a tired groan. Brittany indeed, in her own subtle way, hinted that she wanted the two of them to get back together. Santana's not sure why, but she's just not ready._

/

* * *

**PRESENT TIME**

A deep voice snaps Santana out of her trance, making her crane her neck sideways so she could look at her father.

"Yes, Papi?"

"These have just been delivered for you." He mutters, confusion writer all over his face. "The delivery man wouldn't say who it's from." Carlos handed the biggest bouquet of red roses he has ever seen in his life to his daughter, wondering who sent it.

"Thanks, Daddy." With a nod, Carlos steps back and walks away. Santana leans forward to watch him walk back to the house, but then redirected her attention to the item in her hands.

_Red roses._

Noticing the small card stuck on top of the layer of papered wrapping, her heart starts speeding as she feels her chest expands. She hasn't felt _this_ in a long, long time.

**Santana,**

**Everything means as much now as they have been many, many years ago.**

**I am completely and utterly proud of you. Happy Birthday!**

Santana smiles softly to herself, admiring the strokes in the little piece of paper. There's something different in the writing, but Santana can still recognize it.

"Someone sent you flowers." Brittany states from behind Santana's back. She kept smiling though, temporarily forgetting that her girlfriend is in the same vicinity. As she feels the taller woman coming near her, she rips the card and hid them in the wrapping. "Red roses. Your favorite." Brittany adds. Santana doesn't have to turn around to know that Brittany's sporting a tiny frown.

Santana does though, and what she sees is even worse.

"Yeah."

"From?" Brittany prods, raising an eyebrow in question.

"I have no idea." She lies. "Dad said the delivery man didn't say. Must be from Kurt or Rachel. They always send me anonymous notes and stuffs. You know, just to annoy me." Santana shrugs nonchalantly, putting the bouquet beside her drink.

"Funny." Brittany looks at the bouquet intently. "It's similar with –."

"Ladies! Lunch is almost done. Kurt and Rachel will be here any minute now. Go and get ready!" Maribel's voice reverberates across the yard and for the first time in a long while, Santana's grateful for her mother's weird timing.

/

* * *

Lunch was wonderful. Santana missed her mom's cooking and as soon as the first bite hit her taste buds, she knew that coming home was one of the best decisions she has ever made over the past months. Kurt and Rachel took the same flight from New York, wanting to join their former housemate in celebrating her birthday. As expected, the two dominated the lunch conversation, with Rachel having a slight advantage over Kurt who insisted on sampling every meal Maribel cooked.

"What's up with Brittany?" Rachel corners Santana a couple of hours after lunch. She wanted so much to have some alone time with the taller brunette, but Brittany seemed to have a sixth sense when it comes to her and she never really left Santana's side until it was time for her to go and make the final preparations for Santana's party later that night. Despite Santana's protests, Brittany insisted on gathering the ex-Glee 'kids' at the Pierce's house to celebrate Santana's day. Rachel, seeing an opening to talk to Santana without raising any flags, _volunteered _Kurt to accompany the said blonde in her errands.

"I got a bouquet of red roses earlier, Rachel. The same kind of bouquet I got from my birthday last year, then after the Golden Globes win and same ones that have been delivered to my trailer every week."

"Oh." Suddenly, her own fingernails interests Rachel.

"Oh is about right." Santana stares at her friend disapprovingly. "Do you know anything about this, Rachel?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Santana." Rachel wrings her hands in denial.

"Oh please, Berry. I've known you since middle school and I had the misfortune of living with you for about a year. And even without all that, it doesn't take a genius to put the pieces together."

"I just want you to be happy Santana. You deserve that! For years, I just shut my mouth and let you do whatever it is that you do!"

"Now that's a first, Rachel." Santana smirks despite feeling the possible weight of where their conversation is heading.

"What's a first?" Rachel asks with a raised brow.

"Oh you know." Santana shrugs. "You. And shutting your mouth." Both dissolve in a fit of laughter, only to fall in a comfortable silence as soon as realization dawns on Santana. "You should have just told her, Rachel."

"What?"

"Don't. Please don't act like you're not talking to her. It's obvious you do. You and Kurt."

"It's Dani we're talking about here, Santana. The one you've been with for four years? And I don't mean that in an 'uh-yeah-we-were-together' way. Kurt and I were witnesses to the kind of love you two shared. Fiery and passionate. Come on! Kurt and I and everyone back then believed you'll end up together. Imagine what she'll feel if she finds out that you're with Brittany? The same Brittany whom you dissed about 'straying for penis'. You've spent time assuring Dani that you're not in love with Brittany anymore and now…" Rachel trailed on.

"You just said it. It's been four years, Rachel." Santana lets out a heavy breath. "We've both moved on."

"Have you really?" Rachel challenges.

"I guess." Santana grabs her glass and downs its contents. "How would I tell her that I'm back with Brittany?" She asks. "Sometimes I wish that my team's not this efficient in making sure to keep my private life hidden. Wouldn't it be easier if she just saw the pictures?" She chuckles. Indeed, Santana's people vigilantly made sure that nothing about their client's personal life gets out. That vigilance includes planting false information about Santana's whereabouts, just to confuse the paps. The fact that Santana herself is _very _careful (no drugs, no unnecessary partying, and making sure that she stays under the radar) helps. Sure, there has been that incessant rumor about her liking women, but nothing has been proven. It's not like they're hiding her sexuality per se, they just safeguard Santana's personal life like nobody's business.

"Her name is Dani, Santana and yes, you can mention her name." Rachel teases before turning serious again. "Of course it would be easier. But would that really be the best thing to do? Do you think it would hurt her less? Santana, I know that you'd like to think that Dani has lost all the rights after what happened in New York a month into your breakup…" Rachel's eyes widen, suddenly realizing that she may have ignited some bad memories from what she just implied.

"It's okay, Rachel." Santana smiles sadly.

She went back to New York a month after the _'break up'_. To say that she left with more heartache would be an understatement. "It's in the past."

**FLASHBACK:**

_A month after the breakup _

_Santana found herself seated on an unfamiliar sofa. She had been waiting here for almost an hour now._

_When she reached this place, she was greeted by a warm hug by Elliot. _

_"Santana, know that whatever happens, I'm your friend. Okay?"_

_"Thanks, Elliot."_

_"I'm proud of you."_

_"Why's that?"_

_"You coming here? That says a lot." He gave her another hug before standing up from his spot on the couch once they heard the click of the door. As soon as the charming man was out, Santana heard Dani clear her throat._

_"S-San?"_

_"Hi Dani." Santana mumbled, suddenly lost in the brown hues staring right back at her. In that instant, she forgot that the woman standing in front of her was the reason for her despair over the past month. All the pent up anger and fear and sadness were now overshadowed by her ache for Dani._

_For her part, Dani felt her heart swell. After many weeks of feeling lifeless and heartless, it seemed as if she's alive. Again. _

_"W-What…"_

_"Come back to me, Dani." Santana surprised herself with the sudden intensity in her voice. She had practiced what she was about to say tonight, but everything flew out the window as soon as she saw Dani. She uttered the silent plea at the back of her mind._

_"S-Santana –."_

_"Please…Let's…let's make this work." Santana pleaded._

_"Santana, it's not that easy."_

_"Do you still love me?" Santana's question left Dani speechless for a while._

_"You know I do…" Dani's voice broke. It wasn't even about love. That has never been their problem._

_"I'll stay, Dani. I can make arrangements with –."_

_"San, stop…"_

_"Just say it, and I'll stay."_

_"I can't make you do that, Santana. You've worked so hard to get to where you are –."_

_"Can't you see? I'll leave it all for you, Dani! I –."_

_"Well maybe I don't want you to!"_

_"Dani please…" Santana pleaded harder, only to be met with silence. Again. Her lips trembled and tears started to fill her eyes. Before they could fall, she started to shut down. It wasn't long before she felt numb. With all the strength she could muster, she moved for the door._

_"S-San…"_

_"Goodbye Dani." Santana opened the door, glancing at Dani once more. "I… I j-just… I'm so sorry…" She whispered before walking away, leaving an equally broken Dani._

**Present Time**

"I know that you don't want to hurt her, Santana." Rachel nods solemnly.

"I thought that was it, you know?" Santana circles her fingers around the mouth of her glass, the memory of that day coming back. "I thought going back there and trying to fight for that chance no matter what the results could be…" She shakes her head, seemingly having a hard time speaking her mind. "I thought that was the closure that we both needed. Apparently, we're wrong."

Rachel smiles internally, knowing that Santana has somewhat verbalized what they've all been thinking.

"I keep on telling myself that I've done nothing wrong, Rachel. But when I think of Dani finding out that I'm with Brittany or anyone else for that matter? I feel guilty. Like, I've betrayed her. " She chuckles bitterly. "It's stupid, really."

"It's not stupid, Santana."

"I can't meet up with her again, though. You know that right? She's been giving me all these flowers and notes and stuffs… and she even messaged the first time if we could talk…" Santana's voice breaks and Rachel hurries to hold her friend.

"Hey…it's alright."

"And those stupid songs? S-Sometimes…s-sometimes I feel like they're talking _to _me, you know?"

"Dani has always expressed herself best through music. You know that." Rachel smiles, as if needing to remind Santana of this 'tidbit'. For a second, Rachel's tempted to say that the songs have been, indeed, _for _Santana; but she bit her tongue. That's something that Dani would have to admit herself. "You know you would have to talk to her again though, right? Like, to _finally_ settle things?"

"I don't know, Rachel. I really don't know…"

"Santana, whatever happens – ."

"I know, Berry. I know." Santana finally offers a genuine smile. "I know and… thanks, I guess?"

"Can I say one more thing?"

Santana rolls her eyes at Rachel's ridiculousness. "Even if I say no, you'll say it anyway. So yeah. Fire away, Berry."

"I still believe, Santana." Rachel winks. "You two –."

"Okay, hold up, Rachel." Santana shakes her head in frustration. "First, I need you and Kurt to stay out of this. No matter what happens, you two do not get to play a part in this – whatever this is." Santana stares up, shrugging. "About Dani and me, I mean."

"But –."

"And second!" She holds up her index finger, urging Rachel to shut up. "I know you and Kurt had made it painfully obvious that you are team Dani…" Santana's voice breaks at the mention of her ex's name. "But I _am _with Brit."

"We –."

"And I need you both to respect that." She cuts Rachel off. "And yes, that means no deliberate playing of Danielle's songs whenever Brit's around and –."

"But her songs are too good!"

"And no wearing of _Team Dani _shirts in Brit's presence!"

"I'll have you know that it wasn't intentional at all, Santana! We came all the way from Dani's stint at the Teen's Choice Awards. She was up against Taylor Swift and Adele, and Elliot had the shirts made. We didn't have any time to change."

"Yeah, keep saying that Berry. Who knows, one day you might believe that."

"Santana…"

"Please." Santana looks at her friend pleadingly. "That's basic etiquette, Rachel. Brittany deserves that."

* * *

_/_

**The day after Santana's party:**

"How do you feel about us, Britt?" Santana asks as she watches Brittany strap her bag on her shoulders. The blonde woman will be flying back to LA in a while to tape another episode of her television show.

Brittany blinks, not sure how the question came about, or how to process it. Leaning forward to take Santana's hand in hers, she smiles.

"Strongly of course. I think…" Brittany starts, obviously trying to form her thoughts. "I think that we're perfect together. We complement each other. We're also bestfriends and we know each other really well. I mean, we've been practically together since we were five. We're good together. We're Yin and Yang. We just fit, San." She rambles. "I love you, Santana. So much. More than anyone and anything in this world."

Santana chuckles at the statement. She's heard Brittany say it a lot of times, so she already knows and kind of expects those to be her answers. Yet she just couldn't shake the feeling that it _shouldn't _be the one she ought to be hearing.

Her stomach drops at the realization that Brittany's 'casualness' about them doesn't bother her. At all.

"How about you, San?"

"Hmmm." Santana internally winces in surprise. "Same thing, I guess. I think we have something really special."

"Good." Brittany steals a chaste kiss before enveloping Santana in a hug. "I sort of have a question myself." She smirks playfully.

"Shoot."

"How do you feel about our future?" Brittany holds on to Santana's answer with anticipation.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, Santana scrambles for a reply. "I actually like the way things are right now. You know what I mean? I'm taking it one day at a time. We just got back together and whatnot…"

"Oh." Brittany stops dead on her tracks, trying to understand the meaning behind Santana's words. "That's cool." Clearing her throat, Brittany opts to get moving. "So! Shall we go, babe?"

"Sure."

* * *

/

**_FLASHBACK_**

_"Hey San…" Dani whispered with her eyes closed, hoping that Santana's still awake. She was on her back; Santana sprawled all over her , cuddling Dani as if her life depended on it._

_"Hmm." Santana answered sleepily. _

_"You haven't said it yet." Dani baited._

_"Haven't said what?" Santana mumbled, annoyed at Dani's sudden need to 'talk' in the middle of the night._

_"That you love me." Opening an eye, Santana looked at Dani guiltily. "We promised never to sleep without saying that we love each other…" She said sheepishly._

_"You're annoying. But you're _my_ annoying girlfriend. I love you."_

_"Say it again without the first two sentences." Dani teased._

_"I love you, Dani."_

_"I love you, San. So much." They kissed lazily before Santana yawned droopily. "You have no idea how much."_

_"Hmm. Care to give me an idea how much, Miss Harper? Tell me how you really feel." Santana beamed, a little more awake than she was a few seconds ago. "How do you feel about me? About us?"_

_"I feel like I'm about to combust everytime I see you or just think about you. It's like I can't even decide if the world stops whenever you're near or if it spins so fast. I feel like jumping from all this pent up happiness. I've been in a really dark place in a long while, destructive even – and now, you're here. With me. Loving me. I feel like I'm not that same broken woman that I was before you came into my life. I feel like screaming. Like I want everyone to know that you're mine._"

_"Oh Dani…" _

_"I'm going to marry you one day, Santana. I'm gonna work really hard and I'll give you the wedding you dreamed of. I'm gonna make songs for and about you. I know I'll do absolutely everything to make you happy." Dani beamed before planting a passionate kiss on Santana._

_"I could get used to waking up in the middle of my sleep to these declarations." Santana murmured cheekily._

_"Well, it's definitely better than that time you woke me up crying, just to complain about your dream of living on a farm with five kids." Dani reminded her girlfriend._

_"I thought we agreed never to bring that up again?!"_

_"We agreed not to bring it up in front of other people. Not between us." _

_"Same difference!"_

_"Nah. Totally not."_

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! I hope you liked this chapter! Based on my draft, there will be Dantana interactions in the next chapter, and yes, in the present time.**


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